


we could be chill though

by kismetNemesis



Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: M/M, Speculation, The Boys Who Like Magnus Club
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-03
Updated: 2016-12-03
Packaged: 2018-09-06 06:02:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,904
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8737591
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kismetNemesis/pseuds/kismetNemesis
Summary: The Director once hired an actual, literal child. Why not Antonia and Rowan?





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [droosy](https://archiveofourown.org/users/droosy/gifts).



> Set after the Suffering Game, but with much less suffering than there probably will be.

“So I figure fuck it, right?” says Magnus, who’s got one massive hand locked around your wrist. It’s pretty impersonal, but you won’t say you’re not enjoying it. “If the-” he breaks off into static, as about half the things he’s been saying have been for the past fifteen minutes- “-can hire a ten-year-old, then they can use a level 15 ranger to [static] the [static].”

“Dude, I can’t hear anything you’re saying,” you complain. 

“We wanna get you a job, compadre,” says Taako, who’s fully lying down in the grass not ten feet from the door Wonderland just spat you out of. It’s kind of a miracle that all six of you made it out alive. None of your team got what you wanted after (do they really call themselves this?) Tres Horny Boys burst through one of the walls and apparently fought some kind of energy-stealing spirit. 

You’re kind of put-out, and so is Antonia, but Artemus is really in a full sulk. This is gonna cause a mess back in Neverwinter, you’re sure.

“Yeah, Ronin,” pipes up Merle. “Wanna come join the [static]? We have health care.”

“His name is Rowan, and I’m pretty sure we _don’t_ have health care, actually?” says Magnus. “But you and Antonia, we’d love it if you came to work with us.”

“Are you going on missions like this all the time?” asks Antonia.

“Well, yeah, but you’re doing that already, right?” Magnus replies. “Plus our boss is way chiller than the Weed Lord of Highwinter over there.”

“Point,” Antonia admits. “But we have to get the Weed Lord home first, you know. It’s a pretty long trek to get here.”

“Okay, I have an idea,” says Magnus, letting go of your hand and reaching for his axe. Before you can stop him, he walks up behind Artemus and whacks him on the head. 

“Magnus!” gasps Antonia.

“What? It’s non-lethal! I was just putting him to sleep.”

“I could have done that with a spell, probably,” drawls Taako, unconcerned. “Gotta give you points for initiative, though.”

“Initiative? What are we fighting?”

“Shut up, Merle.”

“I’m not saying I’m not glad you shut him up,” you say, “but why did you do that?”

“We kind of work somewhere top secret. That’s why everything is all staticky,” says Magnus. “But I know a guy who can send him back to Neverwinter in like, ten minutes.”

“Oh, it’s here,” says Taako, pointing up at the sky. To your astonishment, a giant glass ball is rocketing towards your position. You want to duck, but it hits the ground a safe distance away before you can even move.

“What the fuck,” you say mildly. Magnus grins. It’s adorable.

“We travel fast around here!” he says. He runs over to the glass ball and does something to open it, revealing four seats inside. “Oh, shit. I forgot there were only four seats. Um... I didn’t wanna have to do this again, but... would one of you mind getting in here with Artemus?” He pulls out what you immediately recognize as a space-distortion room. “I swear it’s nice in the pocket workshop!”

“Pfft, that thing sucks,” scoffs Taako. “Y’all can ride in my pocket spa!” He pulls out his own room, and he and Magnus glare at each other. You can tell there’s no real fight in it, though.

“I pick the spa,” says Antonia immediately. Taako cackles. 

“Up top, tree fucker!” 

Antonia rolls her eyes and leaves him hanging. You don’t blame her. You give her a look like, _are we really doing this_? And she gives you a look like, _why not_? She climbs into the spa, hefting Artemus along with her, and you guess it’s settled.

“Don’t you touch any fucking sandwiches in there!” Taako calls after them. He sticks the pocket spa back in his bag and swings surprisingly gracefully into the glass ball. Merle follows and immediately pretends to fall asleep.

“Rowan, you can sit next to me!” says Magnus. You like that idea very much.

“Where are we going, exactly?” you ask as you settle into the seat.

“To the moon!” he says. 

-

Turns out he wasn’t kidding.

As the glass ball glides into the aperture of the fucking moon, you finally shut your jaw, which has been dropped since this thing took off. You’ve never been so high up in your life. It makes the whole world seem so small.

“Pretty impressive, right?” says Magnus.

“Uh, _yeah_.”

Soon enough, you’re in a room with a bunch of other balls, and the door of yours pops open again. Magnus leaps out and gives you a hand. You’re definitely not tallying the number of times he’s touched you. 

“Hey, Magnus!” It’s a new person, wearing a blue-and-white uniform and a silver bracer just like the other ones you’ve seen. He’s very handsome (is everyone in this secret organization hot?) and he’s looking at Magnus like he’s in love. 

Uh oh. Is this his boyfriend? Your heart sinks, but it isn’t like you came here just because you have a crush. Okay, it was a large part of the reason, but now you’re all into the whole “secret moon base” thing, so it’s no big.

“Hey, Avi!” says Magnus. They hug, but you have to note that it’s a pretty bro-y hug. “Gotta ask you a favor, dude.” 

“Sure, anything,” says Avi easily. “Can it wait until I let the Director know you’re back? She was pretty insistent that I tell her immediately.”

“No, no, no,” says Magnus impatiently. “This has gotta be done right now.”

“Okay, okay. What’s up?” Magnus gestures at Taako, who pulls out his spa and dumps Antonia and Artemus out pretty unceremoniously. 

“Can you send this guy back to Neverwinter real quick?”

“Is that-?” squeaks Avi, recognizing him. Magnus nods and holds a finger to his lips.

“Shhh, Avi. Be cool.”

“Okay,” says Avi hesitantly. “I’ll get someone to ride with him and pull the brake.”

“You’re the best, Avi.” Avi blushes. You’re beginning to relate to this dude.

While Avi busies himself with the task Magnus assigned him, you decide to sit down. You’re tired, and for some reason a little nauseous. Antonia sits down beside you, apparently feeling similarly.

“How ya feeling, buddy?” asks Merle. “It’s a trip to be here as a virgin, huh?”

“I swear to god, half the things that come out of your mouth,” moans Taako. “Not a good enough reason to use the word virgin.”

“This is normal?” asks Antonia.

“Yup,” Magnus confirms. “It’ll be over soon, though. Normally Avi can help-”

He’s cut off by the door opening to reveal a very intimidating but very worried-looking woman in long, flowing robes. 

“Did you get the [static]?” she asks.

“Hell yes. We’re the best in the biz, baby,” says Taako gleefully.

“That is a relief, I must say.” She pauses and glances at you and Antonia, confused. “And who are your... guests?”

“They wanna join up! I thought we could use a ranger and a druid. And they’re just rad,” says Magnus. 

“Hmm...”

You can hear the sound of Artemus’s ball being fired off behind you, and it strikes you that there’s no coming back from this. Even if this place doesn’t hire you, you’re gonna get fired as hell for letting your boss get knocked out and shot back to Neverwinter in a cannonball. 

“Hey,” says Avi from behind you. You turn away from Magnus and the woman who is presumably his chill boss and look at him. He’s smiling kindly and offering you a flask of something alcoholic.

“Uh, hi.”

“Do you want some brandy? It’ll help to settle your stomach.”

“That’s very kind of you! I’m Rowan,” you say, accepting the flask. “And you’re Avi?”

“Yep.”

“Nice to meet you. Would you like some jerky?” You hear Antonia laugh quietly beside you. She likes to joke that this is your seduction technique. You like to tell her that you’re just being nice.

You’d think about seducing this guy, though. He has a cute smile. 

“Thanks,” he says, accepting the jerky, then turning to Antonia. “Feel free to have some brandy too, uh...?”

“Antonia.”

“Antonia. Go for it.”

“I’m good, but thanks for offering.” 

“So can you tell us more about this place, or will it just static out?” you ask.

“Static, sorry. Not my fault.” 

“It’s fine. Wow, I do feel better.”

“At your service.” You lapse into a comfortable silence, during which you notice everyone but the three of you has left the room. Whatever. You’re content to just sit, for now.

“So are you friends with Magnus?” you ask, unable to help yourself.

“Yeah!” says Avi, lighting up. “Well, I’m not as close as Taako and Merle are to him, obviously, but we hang out sometimes. He’s so cool, right?” You nod emphatically.

“What about Merle?” says Antonia. 

“What about him?”

“Are you friends with him?”

“I guess. Magnus is the friendliest Tres Horny Boy, honestly.”

“People really call them that, huh?” you ask. Avi giggles.

“I’ve said it so much I’ve gotten numb to it, but it is pretty funny, huh?”

“They’re funny guys.”

“I’m glad you think so. A lot of people think they’re annoying.”

“Why not both?” says Antonia. All three of you laugh.

“None of them really are that horny, though,” says Avi conversationally. “Magnus doesn’t date, and Merle is mostly into plants.” You and Antonia both sit back a little at that, for different reasons. You’re such parodies of yourselves.

“That’s too bad about Magnus,” you say, then immediately regret opening your thirsty fucking mouth. 

“ _Yeah_ ,” says Avi. “Join the club, dude.” You make eye contact. Both of you are feeling an interminable and embarrassing emotion that you have no name for.

You’re saved by the woman in robes walking back in, this time looking much calmer and more stately. You want to salute.

“Antonia. Rowan. Do you want to help save the world?”

-

You and Antonia rock the trial, surprising no one. The two of you weren’t hired as bodyguards for the most powerful man in the world for nothing.

The whole Bureau is clapping for you. It feels pretty good, especially when you see Magnus in the front row, whooping and cheering. Taako, on his left, is making mage hand clap for him, which you’re beginning to suspect is par for the course with this guy. 

Avi’s standing to his right, and he gives you a shy wave when he sees you looking. After receiving your bracer and you gachapon token, you make your way over to him through the dispersing crowd. 

“Congrats,” he greets you.

“Thanks!”

“There’s one more part of the trial, though,” he says. You frown.

“What?”

“It’s to go to dinner with me,” he mumbles, unable to keep a straight face through his whole goof. Your heart melts a little. “We can talk about the Bureau, or about Magnus, or this could be... you know... a date.”  
“I won’t say I’m not a little surprised that you asked so soon,” you admit. He shrugs.

“We don’t get new people around here very often. Besides, you seem really... cool.”

“Well, you beat me to it, man. Let’s do this.”

“Sounds sweet,” he says. You can tell he’s relieved that you said yes. It’s incredibly endearing.

“Where can you even go to eat around here?”

“There’s this place called the Chug ‘N’ Squeeze...”

**Author's Note:**

> I know the end is sort of abrupt, but oh well. Wanted to get this up in time for Rachel droosy/brentraptor's birthday!


End file.
